I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
