Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Semen is not good for contacts.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Randomize
