We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
i think my cat just said my name.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
