i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
