i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
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