he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
where does the pee come out of this thing
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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