You can't motorboat a personality
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Less talking, more tequila
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
