I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
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