my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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