I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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