o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Randomize
