if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize