i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
