How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize