"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
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