Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
jump out the window naked night went bad
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
