If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
