I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Come on in and take your pants off
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