I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Randomize
