So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
