the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
