So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Randomize
