Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
