shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Randomize
