Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Randomize
