Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
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