You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Randomize
