How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
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