I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
