how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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