Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
