why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
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