woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Randomize
