the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
