i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Randomize
