Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
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