So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Randomize
