But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
