She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
