i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
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