I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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