Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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