drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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