i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
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