I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
