Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Such a big mess for such a small penis
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
