dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Randomize
