Swine flu. Run for my life!
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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