there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
This house was built for laser tag.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
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