true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
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