He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
