Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
