Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
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