who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
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