Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
