Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
ugly people sure do ruin things
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
