I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
