So drunk, too bad you don't want this
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Randomize
