You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
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