I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
