i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize
